Welcome to Brooke and the Boys!
So – who am I?
Well, I am someone who spent my late twenties and all of my thirties traveling the country for my corporate job, traveling the world for my personal pleasure and trying to ignore the fact that I was not even close to finding the man of my dreams.
When my fortieth birthday neared, I realized that all the dating, searching, wishing, and waiting for Mr. Right I had been doing was not working for me to get the family I always thought I would have.
So, single and at an “advanced maternal age”, I started researching my options and began my quest to get the babies that were meant to be mine. Navigating for nearly two years through the world of Artificial Reproductive Technology, I ultimately ended up choosing donors and carrying babies that do not share my DNA, but are certainly no less mine than if they did. More on all that to come. 🙂
How did this blog come about?
When my twin boys were three, my company experienced a reorganization that drastically changed my life. I was a lifer for this corporation. I had been there for over 18 years, loved the majority of my job and felt like I made a difference. There had been several reorganizations before, but this one was terrible with a capital T! I was averaging between 70-80 hours per week, some weeks even more, in an increasingly hostile environment. It took about a year, but I finally had enough and quit. No job. No prospects. No plan. I. Was. Done.
Leaving a six-figure corporate job with small children, no second income and no plan is not something I would recommend. It truly was a matter of survival for me when I left. Since then, I have been fortunate, no doubt about it. It has been an enlightening, scary, exciting time since I left my career behind to find balance, freedom and a life of sanity for my boys and me. I have been lucky to be able to piece together some freelance work to pay the bills, spend time decompressing and grieving for the career that I lost, and trying to figure out my next step! I have SO many ideas – one of which is this blog!
Being a mother is hard no matter the circumstance. Being a “Single Mother By Choice” (I probably prefer “Single Mother By Necessity”) is a path not many walk. And being an over-forty working single mother by “choice” of multiples can be downright brutal!
What will you find here?
There is a place on this blog all about raising my kind, smart boys, what I’ve done well, the tools I’ve found, the gear – oh the gear, and also the massive failures and mistakes I’ve made! I mean – why not you benefit from my mistakes!?
Since I went through the process of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), chose a clinic (or three), chose a sperm donor, then ultimately chose an egg donor, had a tragedy with my egg donor and then chose another egg donor, grew babies in my belly that are not genetically related to me, have three frozen embryos remaining, then moved 1,000 miles away while 6 months pregnant, then landed on hospital bedrest at 27 weeks and got stuck in the hospital for 5 weeks, and had preemie twin babies at 32 weeks who had to go to the NICU, and went home from 5 weeks in the hospital after a c-section to a house full of moving boxes, I have some experiences to share on all that.
And since I had a whole other life before I went and got my boys, working, traveling, experiencing life, I have some experiences to share about that.
And since I have a post-corporate life, with side-hustles, ideas, dreams, and plans, I have some experiences to share about that.
Who is this blog for?
This blog is not only for single moms, or only for moms of “advanced maternal age”, or only for moms of multiples, or only for moms at all. It is for all those moms, but it is also for anyone – married, unmarried, single, mom or not – stuck waiting for their life to begin. Or anyone sitting on the plane to their next customer with the nagging feeling there is more for them in this life. Or for anyone with a desire to make a drastic change and not knowing how to do it, or being afraid of what their family or friends will say. It is for anyone trying to find and create the life of their dreams.
It is about realizing, really internalizing, that we have ONE LIFE. Just ONE. I hope to help you find whatever spare moments you can to focus on creating and finding the life that is your highest desire.
As my adored Grama used to say, Be Always Kind and True. I will add to this – Be always kind and true – to everyone – especially yourself.