I love to play music from my “younger days” for the boys in the car on the way to school right now. It’s so fun to see what they get into. And of course fun singing Run DMC, Young MC, and Vanilla Ice with them shouting from the backseat to TURN IT UUUPPPP!!! (If you’d like a little walk down memory lane…links to the music videos are at the bottom of the page! Serious nostalgia!)
One of my favorite songs to run to is (um, I mean, WAS, since I’m not doing much running at the moment) Van Halen’s Right Now. I happened to play it in the car yesterday on the way to school. It got me thinking.
Let’s start with right now can you BELIEVE it’s February?!? That’s just nuts!
I intended to come out of the 2019 gate full force. Instead, I spent January doing some thinking about this website and what I want it to be, among other things. Right now I’m working on a new front page design, including learning the newest website editor. My day job is getting busier, I’m back on the Keto train, and … man, twin six-year-olds want to eat and talk and wrestle ALL.THE.TIME.
Less Consuming, More Producing
One thing I’ve been circling for a while now is the idea of becoming less of a consumer and more of a producer. Of all things. I’ve spent a large portion of my non-working time, since quitting my job cold three years ago, learning.
- First, it was learning how to grieve and let go of the career I had put my whole heart and soul into for more than twenty years.
- Next, it was learning more about myself. What did I want to DO with my time – both personal and for work? What kind of parent did I want to be? You know, now that I was no longer drinking from the solo-mom-of-twin-babies firehose AND the ridiculously-toxic-job-situation firehose.
- Then, it was learning about creating websites, blogging, and building online businesses, because that seemed cool.
- Right now – well, right now I’m learning about staying closer to “right now” and spending less time in the past and future. (While also remembering the things I’m doing right now are FOR the future. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
I consumed a LOT of information
I consumed MANY online courses, ebooks, and spent hours researching a million things related to blogging. But I wasn’t producing much.
My phone has hundreds of “notes” on it, of ideas. I have one note that has at least 100 ideas for this blog. And that’s just on my phone. You should see my OneNote on my laptop, and the notebooks on my nightstand, desk, kitchen counter, etc. Oh, and the big whiteboard stickers I have plastered the walls of the house with!
But, unfortunately, when you spend that much time LEARNING and not much time DOING, it’s easy to hit analysis paralysis and not know which direction to go. Stuck. Often doubt then sets in and giving up looks like the smartest move.
I get by with a little help from my friends
I have a friend who is a very successful blogger (check her blog out HERE :-)). We have never met in person, but have built a really fun friendship. We talk weekly to keep each other accountable and moving forward in our journeys. And I really feel like I’ve helped her as much as she’s helped me – which is just super satisfying and rewarding!
We are similar in a lot of ways, but we also operate completely differently.
She is a DOER. She DOES. When an idea pops into her head, whether for a new course, a new personal goal, whatever – she just DOES it. Even if she doesn’t know how she will accomplish something. She announces it and immediately puts her all into it to make it happen.
I SO admire this in her!
I’m not really a DOER. I mean I AM…but in a lot of ways, I’m not.
In my professional life – I can execute a plan like nobody’s business. For other people and other causes – I can DO. But in my personal life, I’m more of a dreamer and thinker and planner. Not so much an executor.
(Well, except for executing my plan to get my babies despite lack of husband and lack of eggs :-). I did make THAT happen! (yay!))
One of the things I’ve realized over the last three years of discovery (and the reading of several Jon Acuff books) is that I don’t finish things. The only reason I can figure is … because … well, what happens then?!
What if I fail?
What if I’m embarrassed?
Or what if I, gasp, SUCCEED?
That’s one of the best things my friend has helped me see. JUST DO WHAT YOU DO and see what happens! Move forward – take small steps – take action to make your life what you want it to be!
The ONLY One
One of the things I have felt often in my life is “alone in my situation” – whatever that is. Not “alone” like I don’t have any people who love me. But “alone” in individual situations. Or maybe “only” is a better word.
The best example is the Baby Project to get my boys. I didn’t know anyone else who had to do what I did. (I do now!)
But I obviously was not the ONLY one (psh) for anything. I was not the ONLY one to have my kids “alone” and not the ONLY one to need double donors to get them. I haven’t been the ONLY one to have been through ANY situation – tough – easy – good – bad.
The only “ONLY ONE” that applies to me – and applies to every single one of YOU – is …
Maybe it’s an age thing. Or maybe I’m being influenced by trying to teach my boys how incredibly special they are. Who knows? But RIGHT NOW I am finally realizing the enormity of the statement that I am the ONLY ME that has ever or will ever live. I’m loving this realization. I sure wish it had come 25 years ago!
What’s The Point?
I guess the point is that although most people have no idea why I would write this blog or want an online business or why I share the ups and downs of our life pretty openly – *I* know why.
There are lots of people in the world quietly going through what others have quietly gone through. They are feeling like THEY are the ONLY ones. But they aren’t.
If I can share something about my experience deciding to get my boys, or having NICU preemies, or trying to not YELL AT THE SMALL PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH ME ALL THE TIME, or what it was like to climb Kilimanjaro and not summit the damn thing, or tips to control anxiety in a crowd – whatever I share – and someone else realizes THEY are not alone, THAT is the point.
“Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything”
~ Van Halen
I’m moving into producer mode and just putting it out there. Right now. Not sure how I’ll fit it all in, but I’m going to consume less information and produce more for others.
Things for us ALL to Remember
I am the ONLY me.
YOU are the ONLY YOU.
Less thinking. More DOING.
2019 Mantra right there.
(I just reread this and actually laughed out loud at the meandering it takes. What can I say? My brain is unique :-). It’s the only one like it.)
- It’s Tricky by Run DMC
- Bust a Move by Young MC
- Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
- Right Now by Van Halen
- With a Little Help from my Friends by The Beatles
- Any Road by George Harrison
More From Brooke and the Boys: