A couple of days ago I saw a quote posted somewhere on Facebook that resonated with me. It was by L.R. Knost, an author known for her writing about Gentle Parenting. The quote wasn’t really about parenting though. It was about telling your story.
I shared the post on my Brooke and the Boys Facebook page with my own comment (below) – both of which seem to have resonated with people (with a couple of private messages as well).
My comment was this.
More Life = Less Judgment
The older I get, the more this kind of thing resonates with me. My younger, more judgy self seems to have evolved some (thankfully) into a much less judgy self about others’ stories.
While I am still passionate, obvs, and believe and feel many things very strongly, I believe I am much less judgemental than my younger, idealistic, righteous self. I am more inclined now to understand that we pretty much all do the best we can with what we have and that everyone has their own path to walk through life.
That Self-Judgment Though
The grace and understanding I feel for others’ stories rarely extends to my own self. Why is this? Why do we do this?
In a post I wrote in October about my climb up Kilimanjaro in 2007, I said this:
“The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are the most powerful influence on our own psyche. Whether it is about our appearance, weight, relationships, jobs, hobbies, abilities, worthiness, value, or contributions – we are not reliable when telling our own stories to ourselves.”
When I started writing THIS post, I found myself typing very similar words.
The Bad Habit of Self-Judgement
A therapist I used to see in Boston used to say to me “People do what serves them. When something no longer serves them, they do something different.”
For a very long time, it has served me in some way to be BRUTAL on myself about my own stories.
Perhaps it was to help me to explain the inexplicable to myself.
Or perhaps it was a way to hide from parts of life that were hard and I didn’t know how to face.
Maybe it was the low-level (and for a while, high-level) depression that I’ve had since fifth or sixth grade.
So Tell Your Story
As I have gotten older, I’m much more aware of the fact that EVERYONE has a story. Everyone has struggled, or does struggle, or will struggle, through some aspect of life that even people close to them don’t know about.
And sometimes, maybe even often, it helps to let others know what’s going on in your core.
And sometimes, maybe even often, it also helps other people to know they are not the only one dealing with the same thing in their core.
Nobody has the same story, in the same body and mind and life, that YOU have. Nobody has the same voice as you, or the same perspective.
You never know how what you share will touch or help someone else.
Life is rich and colorful and flavorful. And as Glennon Doyle says, Life is Brutiful.
Tell your story.
This post was originally published December 9, 2018.
Day 9 of the December Self-Challenge to write a post every day this month.
How am I doing on it?
Eh. Started strong. Posted Day 6 at 4:00 am on technically Day 7. Wrote Day 7 – my dad came over for the night and I stayed up late talking with him and never posted it. Wrote THIS post on Day 8, but fell asleep with the small people and didn’t post it. So posting it now.
So right now – I’m two posts off. I plan to make them up to equal out to 31 posts in December. 🙂
Challenge Books I like: